Damned If I Do Ya Damned If I Don't
by plentysaid
Summary: It was for the best, he knew that, but it still didn't mean he was okay with it. He wanted to drown his sorrows in a bar, forget the face that was haunting him, but instead, she came to talk to him... One-shot.


Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)

For the first time in over a year, Ezra was free on a Friday night. He had now been single for three long torturous days and he couldn't stand it. He missed Aria terribly, but they both knew that it was for the best. Ezra couldn't help but feel that Aria had been a little selfish to take the love they had fought for over so long, away from him. He loved her dearly, missed everything about the playfulness of her smile, the tender caress of her touch, her lips, her laugh. Nothing would be the same without her. She was already making the most of single life, Ezra knew, she was out on a date with some freshmen from Hollis, while he was sat alone, watching the clock until he deemed it a suitable hour for him to find the nearest bar and drown himself in his sorrows.

All of the students he taught knew that there was something up with him, they had all noticed how he had lost the spark in his eyes, the enthusiasm behind his teaching, everything that made him one of their favourite teachers. Ezra shallowly thought that he should go and find a date for tonight, to show Aria that he wasn't as hard done by as he was, to make sure that this sort of situation didn't happen again.

But tonight, his date would be Bourbon. There was no way that he could pretend that there was nothing wrong with him. His body ached with what he felt was the worst sort of heartache. Even worse than when his heart had been broken through rejection of a proposal.

Ezra hadn't understood what had happened between them. They had been happy, the spark between them was there as though they had just met in that bar; the adoration, the need was still so strong, then Aria decided that it was for the best, that there was no need for them to be together anymore because the hiding was too much – that her parents were slowly figuring out that she was seeing someone, and after the debacle with Spencer and Ezra, they would slowly jump to the conclusion that he was with one of the other girls – he was always there as a comfort to them and Mrs. Montgomery had seen him with all of the girls on separate occasions.

Out of character, Ezra had begged her to reconsider, he needed her, he loved her and couldn't stand being apart from her; but she was adamant that they couldn't continue, even though they had been through much worse than this.

The local bar was swarming with his college students on a night like tonight, he ignored students he knew from his classes and ordered his drinks, he just needed to forget – get rid of all the pain he was feeling inside of him, he needed to try and remember a time that he had not been in the sticky situation that he was now. A question stuck in his head when he thought of this bar, the one where they had their first encounter: What if it hadn't had happened? What would his life had been like then if she was just a student in his class? If he had just taken her work, marked it and handed it back instead of getting involved with her in the way he had done.

He didn't look up as someone sat next to him; he just nursed yet another glass of alcohol. He looked up when her hands brushed against his elbow and looked away: Aria. Sat in a black dress that she had brought to wear on one of their dates, high-heels that weren't too high because she was having difficulties walking in them, her small bag clutched in her hand, her eyes filled with the same sadness that Ezra's had been.

"Shouldn't you be out with someone else?" He uttered, spitefully under his breath. He knew she felt the sting of his words, knew it wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Ezra…" She breathed, taking the drink away from him and cupping his hands. "Know that I didn't want this," she whispers, her hands slowly linking with hers. He took her hand softly, trying to focus on her voice and nothing else around them. All he wanted to know was one thing: Why? Why had she done what she had to him? Why had she broken his heart; and evidently, hers alongside it. The amount of Bourbon in his blood meant one thing: he couldn't ask the logical questions that he wanted, instead he asked something in that spiteful tone that both of them were slowly growing to hate as the night went on.

"So, where's the lucky fella then?" Aria squeezed his hand tightly, a mixture of hurt and care in her features as she led him out into the raining night.

"There's no one, Ezra, apart from a very drunk college lecturer," she whispers and leads him back to his apartment, knowing that they both needed to be taken care of.

She led him into the bathroom, ran a cool flannel against his features, moved his hair from his forehead and kissed his cheeks.

"I thought it would be easier," she whispered against him finally, watching as the broken man became even more so.

Ezra took her hips into his hands and kissed her lightly. "Nothing is ever easy with us, Aria, what don't you understand about that?" He stroked her cheek, fighting back tears that he could feel forming behind his blue eyes. "Nothing is ever going to be simple with us," he sighed and held her tightly.

He knew this was probably not the best thing to help the situation, but he needed her in his arms. He needed to feel her body pressed against his, even if it was for the last time. Aria surprised him as he lips were placed against his – not the light touch that Ezra gave to her either, but the hard, lustful touch that both of them had fallen hard and fast for.

Like the first time, their lips hit each other, and it was as though they were going to enter a vicious circle of love and heartache, but they could tackle that when they got to it. All that mattered at the moment was what would happen that night.


End file.
